Cool Things I Wish I Could Do (Part 1)

Whether people are willing to admit it or not, everyone has a desire to be cool. My teenager spends entire days convincing me of how uncool I am. So I felt the need to devise the following "I would be really cool if I could do this" list. Please feel free to add to it in the comment section.

1) Surf--not body surf or boogie board, but the stand-up-jump-the-waves Hawaii Five-O kind.

2) Write a fantasy novel--the way out there, super secret language, larger than life, world building kind.

3) Play the guitar so well, that when they played my songs on the radio, Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton would think they were listening to themselves on a good day. (Yes, Tim, I know Jimi's six feet under, but my game, my rules.)

4) Sing so well, that people will turn around at church, not because I'm slightly off key, but because they think Aretha's in the house.

5) Have the Saturday Night Live crew call me up and beg me to join their writing team.

6) Pole Vault just shy of an Olympic qualifying height. Frankly, I just don't want to put in the training time, and I'm not willing to forgo the Hostess products.

7) Have Harper Lee call me up and ask to be pen pals,

or show up in my kitchen and eat a toasted cheese sandwich with me,

or (also quite acceptable) invite me over for a leisurely game of dominoes.

8) Sit around watching TV and eating Cheetos with Steve Martin and Ellen DeGeneres.

9) Have Oprah and Gail show up in my driveway to pick me up for Girls Night Out.

10) Sing Hey Jude with Paul McCartney

Stay tuned for Part 2!