Friday, July 31, 2009

Wordage That Makes You Squirm

Some might call it creative wordage. Others might call it the massacre of the English language. I just call it word pet peeves. These are particular expressions that are the equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard or aluminum foil and fork tines against an amalgam filling.

I once knew someone who had a gift for changing words. She did this really creative thing where she would add an extra syllable or two to a perfectly good word. Talking to her always left me scratching my head, thinking, hmmmm...have I been saying it wrong all along? She said things like, "I'm going to go cook the chicken on the rotisserary."

I like to periodically work one of my cousin's pet peeves into our conversations. But then I have to run, because she gets really annoyed. She hates it when someone says, drive careful. "It's drive carefully!" she'll yell after me as I'm making my getaway.

My friend, Penny, likes to get people to say things a different way on purpose. She's got my entire extended family now referring to the Internet as the Internets. It's a mystery how she does it. You say it once, and you automatically have to keep saying it that way.

A few small things that make me wince (when adults say them--kids have a free pass until they get to upper elementary school): "kindeegarden", "I brung it with me", "I lied on the beach", "I have an idear" (I don't care if you live in New England--there is no r on the end of idea).

I've gotta go now. Me and my computer got to search the Internets for some good idears.


Michelle said...

Supposably. That's the one that bugs me the most. And I have a friend who, bless her, can't pronounce "bagel." It comes out "baggle."

I have a much higher tolerance for mispronunciations due to regional dialect. "Up 'ar" for "Up there" is the first that comes to mind. When some folks say it quickly it sounds like "a bear," which is entirely possible here in the mountains of Virginia!

WhatBriReads said...

My grandfather pronounces it "idear" and it always bugs me, every single time.

gael lynch said...

On the other hand, I LOVE when kids do it! So quirky! that one. Have some sixth graders that die of embarrassment when their classmates correct them. I never have to say a word. My son called cupcakes "pupcakes" long beyond the stage we called cute. I think he did it just to peeve his siblings! Love that Penny with all her Pennyisms! ;)

Here are a few I just thought of--Libary for library,
Febwary for February.

Tim Haywood said...

Nucular, expecially, valentime, disorientated, theirselves, sherbert,
asteriks, warsh.
And these are just from one of G.W. Bush's speeches.

Bethany said...

I know people who say warshington. my inlaws used to saw walmarts but I picked on them so much they stopped!

Jame said...

Guilty of saying "prolly" for probably, and "a whole nother (something)." And I enjoy adding syllables like "edu-ma-cation."

I hate impact as a verb, and "impactful"...what? I think its cute when old ladies say "voulebard" for high street.

A certain unnamed person used to say "sazla" for a chunky tomato dip, until somebody corrected her. Now she says "salza."

Penny said...

One of the great injustices of the universe and/or Webster's Unabridged is that one out of every three people in southeastern Mass says "sammich." That jerk Emeril didn't help the matter. And doesn't Rachael Ray say "sammy"? Gahhhh!

[Jame, that wasn't me, was it? Egads!]

Occasionally I get a smart-a** student who likes to say, "It's interNET. There's only one." I torment that person until he/she drops the class.

Penny said...

By the way, I keep reading your title (in my head) as Wordage Squirmage.