Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm Just Saying

"I'm just saying..."  It's like the universal get-out-of-jail-free card.  Clip it onto the end of an insult, rude comment, or mean-spirited observation and you have relinquished all responsibility for what just came out of your mouth.

That color you're wearing really washes you out--I'm just saying...
Your son has never amounted to anything in all of his thirty years--I'm just saying...

A certain person from my way-distant past (okay, it's my ex-husband's mother) wins the prize for best usage.  She sprinkled it liberally throughout her conversations.  Your butt sure does look wide in that outfit--I'm just saying...  You're going to cook a Thanksgiving turkey??  You??--I'm just saying...

It can also be tacked on to a nice little bit of gossip.  But that only works if:
1)  the gossip might not be true, but it's too good not to share.
2) the gossip is about someone in your circle of friends/acquaintances.

That way the conversation becomes so much more interesting.  She looks like the type that would cheat on her husband then becomes I think she cheats on her husband--I'm just saying...
Or (another nice possibility):  She looks like she could have had some plastic surgery can then become she probably had a (insert type of plastic surgery here) job--I'm just saying...

My husband pointed out to me that in the Navy, there was a handy little phrase often used.  If you prefaced an insult with with all due respect, you were allowed to say pretty much anything.

Armed with those two all-purpose phrases, everyone can respectfully skate into the new year guilt-free...I'm just saying...

6 comments:

gael lynch said...

I also like the catch phrase, "I'm not much for gossip, but..." That was one I heard a lot when I was growing up. In fact, many people...well, my older sister, Carol, would cling to that long phone wire with curlers atop her head, talking for at least an hour after using that phrase. I was a great eavesdropper when I was little. But...I'm not much for gossip! (I don't think there's a writer on the planet that can make that claim with much credibility, do you?) Happy Publishing Year, Ann!
We couldn't be any prouder!

Annie said...

Thanks, Gael! Happy happy new year!

Penny said...

With all due respect, your amulet/portal story might not be working. I'm just saying...

Happy 2009, Day 1 (plus 364 more).

You rock!

Jame said...

My mom said recently that the old ladies in her life (Irish) used to say absolutely anything they wanted as long as it was attached to "God bless him" or, if dead, "God rest his soul." Like, God bless him but he's dim. Or He was a drinker, God rest his soul. Or God rest him.

Happy Year When the World Meets Harper!

Penny said...

Andy may be able to back me up on this one. In my experience, the older Portuguese folks say what they want and don't give a hoot about your "feelings."

Tim Haywood said...

Sometimes I like to compliment people who know they don't warrant a compliment, or I'll point something out about them that's blatantly false. For instance, at the twenty year high school reunion, I enjoyed randomly selecting an obese person and saying, "Wow, how do you hold down that job at Boeing and still train for triathlons?"
Then, other times, I'll look at a picture of someone's child, who has previously been bragged about to no end, and simply say, "Your son is hideous looking."