Thursday, July 8, 2010

Top Ten Foods(?) I Probably Shouldn't Admit that I Like/Love

I am kind of hijacking REFLECTION OF A SHALLOW POND's blog--okay, STEALING HIS IDEA--It's okay; I can do that--I'm a professional, aka, his sister. I have a long, practiced history of stealing/harming him and generally bossing him around. My brother, Tim, definitely rivals David Letterman in his Top Ten list skills. He has issued a challenge on his Facebook page for his blog readers to come up with their own top ten lists. My list was actually inspired by another of his blog entries--the competitive eating one from a couple days ago. So my list will be:

The Top Ten Foods(?) I Probably Shouldn't Admit that I Like/Love:

10) Hostess Ding-Dongs

9) Hostess Ho-Hos

8) Hostess Twinkies--okay, pretty much ANY Hostess product. Someone put a box of Shrek Twinkies in the staff room at work--the cream filling was GREEN, so I couldn't bring myself to publicly/casually take one--way too many witnesses at lunch time. I think I even pointed at them and said, "Ew, gross," for all to hear; sadly, when I secretly went back to get one later, they were all gone. (It's a well-known fact that you can leave back-of-the-refrigerator food in a teacher's room in the morning, and it will be consumed by 2:00 p.m.)

7) Funions--not sure if I spelled that right--it rhymes with bunions, which is pretty disgusting, in itself.

6) Hamburger Helper--ESPECIALLY the cheeseburger macaroni kind.

5) The fake cheese that they put on cheese fries and those 15 dollar nachos that you can buy at ball games--on occasion, I have considered paying double for extra fake cheese. It would be worth the thirty dollars of cheesy wonderfulness.

4) Street cart meat in New York--gyros, etc.--a few days ago, I saw a vendor flipping the "meat" on his grill, his cigarette dangling over his spatula, and I quickly put that in the things-I'll-pretend-I-never-saw category. (As my friend, Brian, always says, "Denial--it ain't just a river in Egypt...")

3) Swanson's fried chicken TV dinners. I do, however tend to skip over the mixed peas and carrots, unless enough cherry cobbler goo has flowed over into that compartment to sufficiently mask the carroty taste.

2) Pixie stix--but only if you pour the whole thing on your tongue at once--otherwise, it's just not the same effect.

1) A hot fudge sundae, with no ice cream--think about it--it's the ultimate in chocolatey delight.

**I reserve the right to change the order of preference, depending on hour and availability. Substitutions are allowed, but not recommended.

So...let's see more top tens. You can post them on my brother's blog, or, since I've got seventeen months more life experience than can post them right here in my comment section.


Tim Haywood said...

Excellent. Especially the TV dinner. Very vivid.

rachel said...

Swanson's Fried Chicken Dinners ALWAYS meant Mom and Dad were going out in my house, so I loved them. That fake potato on the side and cherry cobbler...yum! My other guilty pleasure is con-queso, the fake kind from the jar.

Annie said...

I LOVE the con-queso in a jar. It's really good on bean dip with a bag of Fritos!

Jame said...

We always had spaghetti-ohs when my parents went out. Sometimes with meatballs, sometimes with hot dog chunks...cuz that's what my SISTER liked. I reminded my mom the other day that it was Friday night for most of my childhood...she said, "I didn't even know they made such a thing." Can you say "Selective memory"?

Annie said...

Oh, man, Jame. I had totally forgotten about those added extras in the spaghetti-ohs cans. I guess that solves the mystery of the street meat in the vendor carts in NY.

gael lynch said...

Oh, I hated the carrots mixed with peas too! I was a skinny little picky eater...twinkies, though! Yum! I liked overcooked Swanson fish sticks. I mostly just liked the crispy outsides. We ate fake fish every when my dad actually tried to give us the real deal? We held our noses, dropped bits of it in our milk, and slipped what we could to the dog. Remember when McDonald's opened? Oh, God...put Mickey D's french fries and vanilla shakes on my list! :)